Do you watch Shark Tank? I don't watch it religiously but I really love the idea of inventors and entrepreneurs coming up with an amazing idea and getting their huge moment to pitch their ideas with the hope of making a deal and bringing their dream to life. Except the sharks are always wrong and every time I think ohmygoodness that is the best idea EVER they HAVE to get a deal, the sharks are all, "eh, your packaging is bad and licensing stuff."
I've had SO many amazing ideas that should see the light of day but ALAS, you guys. I don't have the time or "capital" to make them happen. This is where you come in. This is where you take one of my ideas and for the good of humanity, you make it happen. You may also make millions of dollars and maybe give me a cut for thinking of it. Let's get to it.
A Baby Clothes Line that is Exclusively Zipper Based
Srsly. WHO DECIDED THAT BABY CLOTHES SHOULD BE 72 BUTTONS OF SQUIRMING FRUSTRATION. I know, buttons are cheaper and easier to manufacture. I don't care. Zippers on all the things.
Every time I change the sheets on the bunk beds, I swear. I'm sorry, Lord. I should be able to rein in the anger. I now change them an embarrassingly few amount of times a year for the sake of my soul. Every time I change them I think WHY has no one developed a bed sheet where the fitted sheet is attached to the flat sheet at the bottom???? They could even (for us type A, love a good made bed people) attach one whole side together, too. Picture putting that on. Picture making that bed. Picture just how easy it would be to teach your kids to make the bed nicely. Picture even quilts and comforters somehow made better so that the top bunk with the guard rail can actually be made without tucking yards and yards of fabric under the mattress? Maybe a sleeping bag style that are actually nice looking quilty things? I don't have all the details hammered out yet but I KNOW there's a better way to do this. Someone get on this.
See that perfectly made bed on top? Perfectly tucked with no awkward bumps or wrinkles or yards of fabric hanging down underneath? THAT IS NOT REALITY. But I want it SO BAD.
A Better Car That Can Fit More Than 8 People
Now, before you go all NV on me, I know that's nice but it is nearly impossible to find used. Plus, it's huge. Why is it that post 4-5 kids the only choices are Suburban (for a time) or the automatic move to the momster (almost always white) van? Why is there nothing that fits 9 or 10? Why can't we have some normal cars with an extra row? Why can't the vans at least come in more colors?
Why not this available to the normal consumer:
|Image from lftdxlvld.com|
|Image from bookac.com|
heck, let's even try safari style (roof an available option for winter climates):
See? SO MUCH COOLER than the momster white van and not that hard to come up with. Toyota? Honda? You're missing an opportunity here.
The Kid's House Water Bottle Spigot Thing
Not like a water bottle water bottle. But like one of these water bottles.:
It would be placed in the wall with a water line and the kids could just lap it up from there. Kinda like an indoor water fountain but without ANY POTENTIAL FOR SPRAYING OR SPILLAGE.
Spill-Proof Kid Mugs
Speaking of kids and drinking, this next one is an actual thing I've been trying to find. You know how people last winter were all into hygge and koselig-ing? The cozy mugs of hot beverages shared with my children around a storybook sounded oh-so-lovely but HOW DO PEOPLE DO THAT WITH REAL LIFE KIDS? I cannot find a pretty spillproof mug that they could use outside of the kitchen. I'd love a ceramic style coffee mug but one that has a screw-on sippy type of top so that hot chocolate outside of the kitchen doesn't give me hives. All I've been able to find is plastic or steel travel mugs and that is NOT koselig, people. NOT AT ALL.
Thank you stock photography for my completely unrealistic expectations for winter coziness. Stock children NEVER SPILL.
The Baseboard Vacuum
This is a home vacuum system that is set up into the baseboards or floor vents of your home. With the flick of a switch, it gently sucks up any crumbs, hair, or general debris from the floor (secure any lightweight wanted possessions but it has small enough holes that larger items can't get through, don't worry).
Now picture this SUCKING UP ALL THE CRUMBS.
Bathroom Sink Sprayers
This is not a new invention but there needs to be a new line of bathroom sinks with the sprayer option. Seriously, why is this only an option for kitchen sinks? Toothpaste spittage anyone? How lovely it would be to train my children to simply spray out the sink after brushing or my husband after shaving. And it would never be used for WATER FIGHTS. Somehow it would disengage if it was not pointed toward the sink. Kohler? Moen? C'mon, people. This is a GOOD idea.
This. BUT IN THE BATHROOM.
Not an invention per say, but I'd like to develop a universal sizing system and have it strictly enforced by penalty of the wrath of frustrated clothes-sorting mothers everywhere. 2T months from one company should be exactly the same size as 2T from another (and while we're at it, let's just get rid of the 'T' anyway because why?). I have seriously been able to fit 5 year olds in clothes that were labeled 24 months. They. should. all. be. the. same.
And let's first apply this to the shoe situation. START AT 1 AND GO UP FROM THERE. None of this toddler sizes and suddenly switching to adult sizes and going from size 13 to 1 or differences in men's sizes and women's sizes. Use real numbers that actually mean something, like say, THE MEASUREMENT OF THE ACTUAL FOOT.
There. I'm done. Now who wants to make a deal???