Satisfy us in the morning with Your loving kindness, That we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. Make us glad according to the days You have afflicted us, And the years we have seen evil. Psalm 90:14-15
The bones of this post has been sitting in my drafts for a few months since Leila shared such beautiful thoughts on it. It probably would have been subject to deletion very soon…until I saw what today's Psalm is. Leila's post uncovered for me a deeper reality to that verse that kinda blew my mind and which I needed to be reminded of yet again this morning. (Please do read it. It's incredible.) There is a reality spoken here that the Lord will not just replace the days, weeks, or years we regret or that were a hardship to us but He will truly restore them. Give them back to us.
Did you hear that?
Give them back to us.
What true hope that is! Not a pat on the back, it'll all be okay, dear. Not a that all didn't matter, let's just focus on something more positive.
I have regrets. Do you? There are whole years of my life that I wish I could do over. Some that were wasted. Some that were abused. And then there are the years that I don't necessarily regret but that were downright bloody and difficult and heart wrenching. Her words brought such joy and hope that through God, those years weren't just a teaching lesson. They're not just an "oh well" on the timeline of my life. They can be made new again.
Somehow they will be returned to us in whatever mystical way that means.
What if the Lord isn't just looking for us to forget, to make peace with, or even just to heal?
What if He's looking to restore?
What if those pithy sayings about never looking back and focusing on what's ahead are falling short?
The only time you should look back is to see how far you've come.
Those never really click with me. I mean, yeah, I get it. We can't change the past. Don't wallow. Focus on where you're going. All true. But where we've been does matter. We all know that.
Which is the more compassionate:
That pain doesn't matter, stop with all this dwelling nonsense
That pain is bitter, excruciating even, but not only can it be healed, it can truly be restored?
What if He can give it back to you?
What if the cross is big enough to do that?
What if He will restore?
I don't know what that means exactly and I don't know what that will look like for you, dear friend. But He does.
Our own missed chances and opportunity
Just maybe He doesn't only want to heal those things but just maybe He also longs to restore what was lost. Restore in a way that only He can.
Right before those lines about restoration we ask to be filled and satisfied by Him. We make ourselves available to His power, to His mercy and love. Then we ask for restoration.
What if all we need to do is to be present to Him, to ask, and then trust that He will do it?
We have His word for it. Words of real hope.
"Then I will make up to you for the years that the swarming locust has eaten."