Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Songs for Miscarriage



If you're landing on this page because you've lost a child, please know that I am so very sorry for your loss.  I want you to know that I believe your loss is real and that your little one that died is just as much a unique and unrepeatable human being as any other and that his or her death is as much a loss as any other.  Grieving that child is a good and appropriate thing to do and you are not alone.  My hope is that some of the songs I share here will help to give words to your grief as they did for me.  You may also find some help in the post Scriptures for Miscarriage as well as other things I've written on the death of a baby that you can find if you click on the Pregnancy Loss page.

For some people, myself included, one of the best therapies in the world is music that pierces the heart.  I guess I emote through music.  Sometimes I forget that until I have some blessed alone time in the car and I remember what a release it is to crank that perfect song and let the words play and the tears fall.  I still have several vivid memories from high school and college of post break-up drives filled with the perfect angsty music high on the stereo and hot tears streaming down my face.

When we lost Joseph Mary, music, like it had before, helped heal my heart and gave voice to what I couldn't express on my own.  I made a CD of songs for Joseph Mary and for me, it was a really powerful way to work through the pain of losing our child.  I thought I'd share with you some of those songs.  It's hard to believe but that loss was over eight years ago so I know some of them are admittedly outdated and even corny, but that's okay, I think.  I mean, they can still do their work.  Some of them were written specifically about losing a loved one.  Many of them, however, were intended to mean something totally different but still somehow they fit.  They may not be the perfect choice for everyone but maybe there will be something here that will be that song for you.  

(The songs may take a few moments to load, please be patient!)

Held by Natalie Grant

Hold Me Now by Jennifer Knapp

Glory Baby by Watermark

Broken by Lifehouse

In My Arms Again by Michael W. Smith

Christopher Augustine by Bob Rice

Homesick by MercyMe

I Would've Loved You Anyway by Trisha Yearwood

He Will Carry Me by Mark Schultz

There You'll Be by Faith Hill

Who You'd Be Today by Kenny Chesney

Please Remember Me by Tim McGraw
(when I listen to this one, I think of it as me speaking to my little one and asking for his prayers rather than them asking to be remembered…I think it makes more sense that way.  Except for the corny bridge which will always be corny no matter how you interpret it.)

There Will Come a Day by Faith Hill


Remember, don't write any of them off til you've cranked it loud…there's just something different that way.  

If you have any songs that you feel could be added to this list or that were particularly important to you while grieving the loss of a child, please feel free to let others know in the comments.  Maybe I'll add them in here, too.  






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14 comments:

  1. I love Laura Story's "Blessings." It gets me every time!

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  2. Songs have always been such a comfort to me, especially in times of sorrow or fear.
    Thank you for sharing.

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  3. "Blessed Be Your Name" by Matt Redman was a song that really resonated with me during the 8 months in which we lost 3 babies a couple years back.

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    1. Oh, wow. Three babies in 8 months. I am so sorry. How awful. I absolutely love that song, too. I don't think it was around when we had our loss but it is perfect. The words make me tear up every time.

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    2. Thank you Mary. It was awful, but God in His goodness taught me so much through the ordeal. And, with the help of a great Catholic OB, we figured out it was a progesterone issue. We have since been blessed with a beautiful girl who is 18 months and the happiest little thing and, praise God, we are expecting again--I think you and I are due around the same time. This will be baby 4 here on earth :-)

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    3. That is so exciting! Prayers for a healthy, happy pregnancy and birth!

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  4. Three songs that were important to me through our miscarriage (and still):
    "Keep Breathing" by Ingrid Michaelson. Because sometimes that was what I needed to focus on.
    "Need You Now" by Plumb. Because I didn't realize just how much I needed God until I was actually angry with Him.
    "Timshel" by Mumford and Sons. These are not strictly Christian groups, but somehow the lyrics touched me at just the right time.
    (Some of the Timshel lyrics:
    Cold is the water
    It freezes your already cold mind
    Already cold, cold mind
    And death is at your doorstep
    And it will steal your innocence
    But it will not steal your substance
    But you are not alone in this
    And you are not alone in this
    As brothers we will stand and we'll hold your hand
    Hold your hand
    And you are the mother
    The mother of your baby child
    The one to whom you gave life")
    I guess because I felt like miscarriage stole my innocence in some way (making me realizing that bad things can and will happen to us, personally) but that, as hard as it was, it couldn't take my substance - my life in Christ.
    And for some reason "The Scientist" by Coldplay still makes me choke up, even though it has nothing to do with miscarriage.

    Great post - thanks for sharing your favorites with us.

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    1. Oh, wow. I never thought of that song in relation to miscarriage but that is really powerful. Love Mumford and Sons. And YES…I had that same experience of losing my "innocence" in a way. Thank you so much for the suggestions!

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  5. The Matt Maher cd Alive Again, tracks 7-11, in that order. Flesh and Bone, Remembence, letting Go, You Were on the Cross, Christ is Risen. Over and over and over again. It goes through the entire circle of life, death, resurrection. Beautiful.

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    1. Matt Maher is so great. I'm not sure I've heard all those songs so I'm going to go do that! Thanks, Ann-Marie!

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  6. The Hurt and the Healer by MercyMe helped me grieve through a miscarriage. I would go for a run and listen and cry, had little ones at home and couldn't be sad in front of them.

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    1. Wow, I just looked it up and it's a whole album. I'm going to give it a listen. Thank you for the suggestion! I'm so so sorry for your loss.

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