Just a Wee Bit of News

Except that it's not a little bit, except in size. It's huge for us and it's still a very happy secure
I'm pregnant
My husband is the only who knows right now.  I took the test yesterday morning and I still don't really believe it.  The line was so faint but it is definitely there and in the world of pregnancy tests, there are no false positives, even when they're from the dollar store.  But that doesn't mean I still won't be going out and buying another one 'just to make sure'!  I'm nervous that the line was so faint, however, I did test a bit early.  I intentionally chose to take the test yesterday because it was April 7, which is the day we estimate that our little one Joseph Mary entered heaven.  A year later our newborn son, Michael was Baptized on the same day...I enjoy doing things like that on special days.  I'm weird like that.  So yesterday we celebrated Michael's Baptism Day and I held a huge secret in my heart all day until I couldn't hold it in anymore and told my husband after we prayed the Hours and while we were being graced with some beautiful spontaneous prayer together.  He was so happy and it felt so good.  He also claims he "knew" I was pregnant.  I don't feel pregnant.  It scares me because the one pregnancy when I felt great, was the one in which our little saint Joseph Mary died at 8 weeks.  I am consciously trying to let go and to trust in whatever the Lord has for this baby and for our family.  Although, I am now oddly comforted by the fact that I have been ridiculously moody and on edge for a few days now...and definitely feeling like something has been hormonally off.  Maybe that's a good sign (unless you're my poor husband).  I am surprised at this pregnancy, which doesn't make sense, even a little.  For some odd reason I think part of me was thinking that we wouldn't be gifted with another child.  No reason why. But apparently the Lord has different plans and if we are blessed with a healthy pregnancy, we will be welcoming the newest member of our family into the world in the middle of December!  Oh, an Advent baby!  How fun is that?

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